The reason why I have travelled to Taipei is to visit my friend, who actually used to be an English student of mine. I realised very soon, during our lessons, that I was actually asking her a lot more questions than she was asking me. So, I decided to end the paid sessions, and simply become friends. I always went to her for advice because she has lived a similar period of her life to what I am living right now.
For the last 8 years, I have truly been in a period of transition. I have not really remained settled… and for someone who normally values stability, this has actually been quite disturbing for me. It’s this discomfort with being in transition which hampers me the most I think… I try to embrace it, but I am often left frustrated with myself. This is what I have learned from my friend: embrace any period of life for what it is.
My friend started working as a nurse in palliative care soon after graduating university, but she found that she wasn’t quite satisfied with the work. So, intentionally or unintentionally, she spent the following ten years changing jobs… once or sometimes more than once a year. She travelled, learned new skills and reflected often on how she felt each time. Until this day she keeps a diary of big life events, to record her adventures big and small. In the end, she decided to return back to nursing in palliative care… but this time with a new mindset and appreciation. A new kind of certainty… which led to a long period of stability in her life.
I am in awe of this story, partly because it means that I don’t feel so alone, and partly because I see a light at the end of this ever-changing tunnel for me. Being able to spend time with her and her friends, partner and family have really helped me to embrace this period of my life. People often see our lives differently from our own inner perspective, and I have found these other opinions refreshing. Slowly, I look back at my life and realise that although I took each step with a lot of frustration at myself, and dread that I have to explain to my friends and family yet another change… along the way I’ve tried a lot and learned a lot.
Travelling has not only taught me about what I like and don’t like, but also about how to adapt. When we need to adapt to different environments, we learn that almost everything in the world is changeable. If we are in a routine, we live only in the illusion of stability. A powerful illusion nonetheless… But I said almost. There is one thing which remains the same, and that is the one who is responding to the changes.
In other words, my travelling, chopping and changing of ideal careers, trying and failing and succeeding at different ideas and projects… has made me realise the power of making a purposeful decision. These days, I try new ideas with much more confidence than I used to… because I have learned to own my life. No one else could do so, even if I decide to follow in the footsteps of another. At the end of the day, it’s got to be me making the decisions.
This time, I’m just that little bit more confident, and I’m not afraid to share publicly any new ideas that I intend to explore. In fact, this is one of the other big lessons I have learned: if I want to succeed in my life, I must get over my fear of opening up to the help and support (or even criticism) of others. This year is meant to be a continuation of my transition phase. A year of fun, taking things lightly, and following my heart without second guessing.
So it’s not just about travel and discovering other countries… there is a kind of direction or a purpose to it. It’s just that the purpose is not pre-defined, but rather made up along the way.
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