While in France, I’ve actually learned a lot about romance. It sounds so corny to say, but I think that I have experienced more romantic moments here than in any other country. It’s just a personal experience. Almost every man I have dated here has put in a little extra effort than I have normally experienced in other countries. It may be a little romantic gesture like flowers, a tour of the town, or maybe just holding a door open for you. Perhaps it’s just a generational thing too, as I am drawn to men who are older than me. Either way, it’s been a really different experience for me – and I’ve learned a lot about myself, and about what I want, in the process.
I’ve also learned a lot about patience. Romance and patience seem to go hand in hand. Whether it’s with a man or not, there are a million different ways you could romanticise your life in France… and it all seems to start with understanding patience a little more. Patience is not what I used to think it was.
I used to think it was simply waiting for something to happen. Letting the needs of others roll over your own, and just doing the painful task of waiting for another person to be ready to take action before you do. Then, I seemed to think that being patient was remaining hopeful while waiting… not letting your thoughts turn negative and devour you whole. Now, I look back and realise that I was wrong about that too.
These days, I think that patience is a kind of meeting of yourself with the moment you are facing. I feel that we spend so much energy denying some things that are happening in front of our eyes. We call it wrong, unfair, inconvenient, or not enough. I think that patience is somehow finding a way within ourselves to see the moment as perfect for what it is. As not needing to be changed or different, and that includes ourselves as well. Our natural way of being, and our spontaneous desires to do or say something, especially when what we want to say is kind… should we really feel the pressure to change that?
If we see everything as exactly what it should be in the moment, we digest it and move onto the next stage. We get less hung up and in fact, ironically, make progress in areas in which we are stuck. Even when we are not faced with a problem, when we slow down and process what is in front of us, then we are able to romanticise our life. We can see every moment as a luxury to be consumed with our emotions… from wherever we are.
But who knows. In a few weeks I’ll probably look back, having learned more, and realise that I was wrong this time, too.
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