At Home, Elsewhere

learning how to be at home

My Little Recipe Book

I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ve started a little recipe book so I can take my memories of my travel with me. At the moment, it has recipes from France and Taiwan in there and soon I want to think about something Japanese. Since Japanese is a cuisine that I am quite familiar with, I already have a few favourites. For example, Oyakodon is a meal that reminds me of my early years in University. I grew up with a lot of Vietnamese friends, and even though I looked really different from them on the outside… I felt accepted by them as if I was family.

I later discovered that Oyakodon is known as parent-child bowl, it symbolises family in some way. It uses both the chicken and the egg, so it represents both the parent and child. It is a meal that is often cooked within the family home here in Japan. In Australia, I ate it in a restaurant at a big table surrounded by all of my friends. Even though they were no blood relation to me, I felt that it was a family meal and I will always remember this moment whenever I cook that dish.

I’d like to learn something different, to remember this period of my life. I have been able to be a little closer with my Japanese friends, but it also feels as if I am learning now to be on my own. From what I can see so far over here, a lot of people live in small families, or on their own. They have mastered the art of solo living – maybe a little too well. But I love that many Japanese value solitude in some way. This intrigues me… and so I want to try my hand at cooking in a Japanese way.

I have often watched films or videos where Japanese people dine on their own, and I always see several little separate bowls of things on the table. There is always soup, rice, vegetables and meat. I have tried to replicate this in my own way… and I can say that I have never had so much fun cooking for myself. When I have lived in many other countries, I don’t put so much effort into what I eat. In Australia for example, I would just cook something quick or warm it up, all with the goal of having the least amount of dishes to wash.

But here, there seems to be a kind of dance to eating that I really like. When I cook here, I take care of multiple things at once. Rice is in the rice cooker, vegetables are being grilled in the oven, meat is being cooked at the stove. I use several bowls to present them, and include a side of sauce. I have not been able to figure out the soup as yet, but that is my next task. Strangely enough, the task of washing up that I have so often tried to avoid, is not a problem for me here.

I won’t go so far as to say that I cook Japanese food, but I do try to cook in a Japanese way. Having more structure to my meal, and giving myself lots of variety with smaller portions of food, somehow feels more satisfying for me. It also has a better appearance. It makes the art of eating a meal more of an enjoyable event, similar to the French way of eating. In France, in the households where I’ve stayed at least, for lunch or dinner there seems to always be four stages. An aperitif, an entrée, a main and a dessert (and a glass or two of wine). It is also structured, but by way of eating order.

A Japanese meal happens all at once, but there is a balance of everything. I read once somewhere that the balance in Japanese meals is intentional. Balance for the sense of touch by including something hot, cold, crunchy, soft and chewy. Balance for the sense of taste by including sweetness, saltiness, sourness, bitterness and umami. I am sure that all this variety is also good for the sense of smell. Not every dish needs to have every component, but variety keeps it interesting. Eating is not just enjoyed in a restaurant or surrounded by friends, it’s a ritual that can even be enjoyed in private.

I am still keeping my eyes on the lookout for a recipe that I can add to my little book, but I think that I’m taking away much more than just one dish from here. I am taking with me a different understanding of food, eating and looking after your health. Perhaps I would have learned a lot from only spending time in Japan, but I can’t help but feel that I am only learning so much here because I have dined in other countries too. I have the benefit of contrast, not only with my upbringing, but with every country I have ever experienced a meal in.

From the United States to China, Denmark to France, Montenegro to Singapore, Wales to Japan, and much much more. It feels like it’s all sinking in… the way we eat is a window into what’s personally important for us. The memories we associate with food, the way in which we make time for it, the way in which we can appreciate what it is that we put into our bodies. Suddenly, it makes me want to slow down and make time to eat. To use it as a time to reflect, smile and enjoy the process rather than just see it as another requirement in my day.

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