This morning it was raining heavily. I woke up, and then I went back to sleep. I didn’t want to face the day. Have you ever descended into a bad mood early in the day? It happens no matter where you are. If we travel for short periods of time, the sensation may leave us in exchange for the novelty of being somewhere new… but eventually we must face the reality of our day to day life. Having travelled long term, I can say with confidence that I have felt down in many different countries. And it’s all been variations on the same theme. Your head becomes full of questions: what am I doing with my life? Am I living it in the right way? Is there anything I’m missing out on? Is there something I should have done by now? Moving around is a good solution, even if it is a temporary one, and so I have taken the train to a nearby town this morning. To go out and do something different from our routine gives us a chance to let the unexpected enter our lives.
But we don’t have to always travel to a different country in order to achieve this. It can be as simple as going to a different café in the morning, walking a different way to the train station, or visiting a neighbourhood near you that you’ve never been to. As I walked to the train station this morning, I noticed a big, bright sunflower. Isn’t it amazing how these flowers always find the sun? It brings me back to a moment in my life, when I had first started travelling and I wanted to start a blog similar to this. I was on a bus in Singapore, on the top level as I always liked to do. I especially liked to sit in the front seat, because there is no driver there so you have an amazing view of the road – as if you are driving yourself. The bus was turning a corner near east coast park and I looked out at the sea. I felt that I really wanted to share the experience of what it is like to live abroad. Singapore was the first place I had truly settled down outside of Australia, and since then have learned the same lesson over and over: no matter where you are, your life will find you again.
I had dreamed of sharing stories where people with so called “ordinary lives” were able to live life changing adventures within the limits of their own mobility, budget and mental capacity. I hadn’t been travelling for very long, but I realised that travel had become overrated in a way. Although stories like Eat Pray Love are true, and interesting because they are rare, I had always been fascinated with the common. This morning, as I walked out of the train station, I watched the cleaner as she swept aside the water from this mornings rain. She worked at the bottom of the stairs, wearing her bright blue uniform, dragging the water with her squeegee repetitively and neatly into a thin drain that hugged the side of the rampway sloping downwards. I had never noticed that drain there before, and I was amazed that someone had thought to put it there. I started to wonder what life was like for her. Whether she had children, or whether she lived alone, and whether she was happy with her life. Did she also want to travel? Or did that not interest her at all? It makes me think of the recent Japanese movie Perfect Days, which I’d recommend everyone to watch.
This movie follows the life of a toilet cleaner in Tokyo, and his daily habits. It’s simple, elegant and meaningful. It makes me realise that there is a life outside of seeking, searching and comparing. I think for that reason, today I don’t open my phone. I don’t want to see the amazing things that other people have done, I don’t want to watch a visual spectacle. Life online, especially in social media applications, seems to have two different sides. When we see something, we can perceive it as a show or we can accept it as sharing a moment. There is so much information online, that it has become like a mirror. Even after a few moments of scrolling, it is easy to see yourself in how you choose to let others affect you. And it’s true, that sometimes I’m bothered by image and that’s why I can’t watch things online. I’m bothered by how I look to others, or what they think of me.
But it’s only a moment which passes, and anything that happens during these moments of doubt doesn’t need to be denied or endorsed. That’s why I think it is so good to return to the simple moments, no matter where you are. Put you phone down and observe the people around you, or go somewhere slightly different than your normal routine. There is truly beauty to be found everywhere, and you can trust me on that. Because I’ve been bored, depressed, sad, and frustrated in over thirty different countries, and it’s always the same thing which pulls me through. Put everything down, lift your head up and look around you. After a little while, you’ll begin to see the romance of your own life story. A sunflower, no matter where she is planted, always looks up at the sun.
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