Today was a dull day, but I somehow felt happy. The white sky, to me, was calm, and the air was fresh. Most of the afternoon it drizzled, and luckily I had an excuse to be inside, but towards the evening it cleared. I decided to finish my bath early and go out for a walk to the beach.
As soon as I exited the apartment I could smell the slight rise in temperature. That smell when the rain hits the earth, and the heat makes the earth rise up to meet you. The coolness of the air refreshed me as I walked slowly past the main road, down a little side street. The houses in this area are fenced in by concrete or stone walls, it’s so different to the open Australian front yard. As if houses here are like a special private sanctuary, a place of refuge. I like the idea of having a protected space just for you. Soon enough, I reached the bridge that goes under the railway lines and out into the coast.
The floor of the bridge was covered with water, no doubt due to the rain and the strong winds in recent days. I made my way through the puddles on the concrete, the smell of fish strong from the shallow canal nearby. As I exited the tunnel I felt it, the strong breeze that can only mean you’re near the sea. I found a place to sit and stared at the waves for a while. The repetitive motion soothing to my brain, I became a little entranced and lost track of time. I think that this is what meditation is supposed to be like.
As I walked back, I didn’t want to go home. I liked the feeling of the cold on my skin, reddening the tip of my nose. So I walked around the neighbourhood to a nearby apartment complex with a few restaurants and shops. The smell of rain remained in the air, subtle and now accompanied by the smell of fire. I adore this smell. When it’s in the air, I can almost see the embers burning. I can imagine people, in their homes, enjoying the heat of the fire.
After living in France, I realised that I don’t need much to remember the feeling of warmth. Just the smell of fire, or even the sight of it – real or not. But I’ve always been a little bit of a fire bug, since the days my Dad used to do controlled burns on the property where I grew up. I loved watching the tip of the fire play with my perception, and wherever I go I try to recreate this feeling on a small scale with candlelight. It’s almost as if something in the sight and smell of fire lights me up as well.
It was the perfect ending to a quiet, calm day. Walking back to the apartment, I started to wonder whether I was a boring person. I seem to really love the small, ordinary things and have very little desire to do big things anymore. Maybe that’s what settling down feels like, just a constant desire for peace.
It just so happens that if we slow down, and become quiet enough, we can always find peace within the little things. Within the smell of fire and rain, a breath of fresh air, the feeling of occupying a space in the world that is uniquely ours. I’ve seen a lot of wonderful things, in a lot of wonderful places, but nothing comes close to taking the time to enjoy the small things. Wherever you are.
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