In a little corner of the town Antibes there is a place called le Safranier. In fact, it’s full title is the free commune of Safranier and it’s a place I have always loved to visit while I’m here. I think it is possible to notice when the sober streets of Antibes end and the quaint stone walls of le Safranier begin. The shutters and window frames are painted in bright colours, and each corner seems to be covered with greenery. Pots of flowers are lined up along the floor, vines stretch across the walls and flowers hang from the windows. Spring is an especially nice time to go.
I had never read about the history of this little part of Antibes, but today I came to know that Greek writer and poet Nikos Kazantzakis finished some of his works there. There truly seem to be writers all over this region. Some of his famous words are this: I hope for nothing, I fear nothing, I am free. These words are really strong, and they make me pause and reflect on my own life.
Many times, my travelling journey starts like this. I free myself of any hopes, and with that I lose fear. When I left Australia in 2016, I had no expectations of anything or anyone. When I left Singapore four years later, again, I felt fearless as I began travelling around Europe. A month ago, I truly started this journey with an open mind and an open heart. But then, it always happens inevitably. You go to a place, you meet someone, or you find something which changes your plans and diverts your direction. You start to think things that you had never thought before and feel differently about what you truly want from life.
It’s difficult in these moments to know – should I stick to what I had originally planned, or should I flow with this change of heart? I think these days I am mature enough to know that this is not as big a question as it seems. And the answer can be this: so what? When we start to want change, we start to hope. We spend so much time using hope as a way to worry about the future, but hope is only anticipation. It’s just a feeling to experience and is not a chip you can use to bet on something.
If we enjoyed this feeling a little more, maybe we wouldn’t be afraid to hope for nothing. We wouldn’t be afraid that disappointment would swoop in and take our dreams, because we would be too busy enjoying the feeling of anticipation. I think that Kazantzakis was right. If we learn to befriend our hope, then this could be true freedom.
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