At the end of a long day yesterday, we sat at the table and had a simple dinner. Ham, cheese, butter, bread and a big glass of red wine. Just enough to keep the tummy content before an early night. At the other end of the table was a box full of photos and it didn’t take long for the food to be cleared, and the box to be opened. As people do, my friends became engrossed in their own memories from long ago. The took their time shuffling through each picture, trying to remember the names of who was who, and where they were, and what they were doing. I enjoyed sitting back and watching their discussion evolve.
I learned that my friend, she had great taste in clothes and great style. She still does. But it was so interesting to see all the different dresses, hats and shoes she wore over the years. What was more sweet, was her husband’s reaction to her in almost every photo. It’s as if he was falling in love again, and he wore a smile that showed he was happy that he had chosen her all those years ago. I found it so inspiring that before me was a couple who had lived so many years together and still seemed so happy. It’s not often that I meet couples like this, but when I do, I start to believe in love again.
I knew from the first moment that this couple would be an inspiration for me. I remember when we had finished our first dinner together, at the house I was going to look after for two months, he got up first and prepared her coat for her. All she had to do was extend her arms into the sleeves and make sure she was warm. I had forgotten that such gentlemanly behaviour existed, it reminded me of seeing my parents always holding hands when they walked together – something I didn’t realise was uncommon. From that moment, almost two years ago, I remembered that this is what I want in a relationship.
I had always thought that I should have a man who checked all the boxes on my list. They should be romantic, or they should be tall, or they should have a good job. There was a point in my life where I had analysed all of my past relationships… every single failure, wondering what went wrong so that it wouldn’t happen again. I thought that communication was the key, or maybe similar interests, or maybe something else more mysterious. It was only at this moment that it began to sink in – there is nothing more romantic than respect. Respect, appreciation, acceptance… these are the things I was truly looking for.
I started to focus on this and encouraged my mind to let go of details and open up. It wasn’t easy. I had to unlearn a lot of things, and it took me time and a lot of tears. But I think I’ve made it. I don’t know what the future holds, but I think I have what I’ve always been looking for. Now, when I watch my friends laughing together about old times, I don’t feel that this is something out of my reach. I know that I won’t have the exact same experience, but I think that maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to know this feeling that I saw in them. Of love growing through the seasons, blossoming into something beautiful, and aging gracefully over the years.
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