Sometimes the effects of change catch up with me. The bed is harder here than in other places I’ve slept, the water tastes different, even the air is something new I need to get used to. I love being in Japan, but all of these changes are wearing me down slowly and for that reason today was a quiet day. I slept for a long time, but I am still tired and negative thoughts come to me easily on these kinds of days. It’s a good excuse to be nice to myself and so I went to the convenience store to pick up a few snacks.
Even though it was the middle of the day the air was fresh, and the clouds looked as if they would rain at any moment. I thought about going back to the apartment for my umbrella, but I didn’t. I decided that I wouldn’t mind if it rained, and feeling little drops of water on my skin already felt good anyway. I felt as if I were being washed, cooled off. As I walked, I heard the sound of drums in the background and then a big gong. It continued. I looked in the direction of where I thought the nearest shrine was. It sounded as if it were coming from there. Indeed the streets were eerily empty for a weekend, as if everyone was gathered somewhere else and no one had told me.
As I arrived at my local Family Mart I realised that I had been wrong. There were many more people than normal, coming in and raiding the shelves for things that they had forgotten the day before. On my walk back, I started to hear signs of life again. Students practicing their instruments at music class on the weekend, the shouts of support as baseball games began. I felt less lonely. As if hearing the life of others was bringing me back into reality, a reality where life goes on. Life goes on and we must simply choose how we want to live it. I walked along and listened to the sounds of the drums playing at the school, feeling the coolness of the air on my skin. I closed my eyes for a moment and became lost in the sound.
This morning I was elsewhere in my mind, but now I’ve arrived again. I took a deep breath. Life goes on, and I don’t want to feel that I am being dragged along by it anymore. I want to walk alongside it.
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