This morning I went to a small local place for breakfast, a café run by an old couple just a short walk away from where I live. As I walked in, I smelled the odour of old cigarettes and was greeted by the gentle smile of an older man wearing a suit. He spoke no English, and with my limited Japanese I managed to order what I wanted and enjoy my breakfast. There weren’t many people in the café, to my right was a lady eating a bowl of noodles quietly. A gentleman beside her was sitting with his coffee and flipping through the pages of a newspaper. The café was British inspired, and there were old photos, wooden panels and a large cabinet of English china behind the counter. It felt as if I had strangely stepped back in time, in a world where Japan and England were somehow in the same place. Soon after ordering, the old man hurried himself to get my meal ready.
First, a glass of ice cold water, to help me recover from the sticky heat outside. Then, a beautiful white cup with a dainty handle, filled with steaming black coffee and served with a side of cream. Soon after, my sandwich arrived and when I finished my meal I received an unexpected scoop of ice cream. The room was quiet, dark, and calm, however I was panicking on the inside. I had to get up and pay, although I didn’t know quite how much I owed, which meant that I had to somehow communicate again. I stood up and got it over and done with, and as I left the café I felt that familiar feeling. The one I get when I feel dumb, or as if I haven’t worked hard enough – a little shame. It’s normal and natural to feel this way when living in a country where it’s not your native language. I wondered to myself as I walked away, should I have studied harder? Maybe I should have invested more time and money? Perhaps I should have asked more questions of my friends who’ve been so kind enough to help me.
But I’ve been through it too many times to be fooled. It’s just part of the process when learning a new language, especially one you’re not able to devote months or years of study to. I let the shame wash over me, and down into the drains and grass by my feet. I would not let it get to me this time. There is something more to communication than just language, it’s not just about learning a bunch of words and stringing them together. It’s a mentality, and an exercise in self confidence. All the things that keep you consistent are actually more important than what helps you to learn something the fastest. It took me a lot of moments where I’d given up, to realise that the process of learning a language or even learning anything, is a lot easier if I am just nicer to myself in the process. I became an English teacher 8 years ago, and started my own business 4 years ago, both out of convenience rather than out of passion. But now, I think I have fallen in love with teaching and learning languages.
Talk about something wearing you down. There were moments in my past where I simply hated teaching English. In fact, I took my first teachers course while I was still very burnt out and it was a stressful time for me. I was surprised during that course, because I had thought that teaching would be easy – but I was wrong. When you start, you are inexperienced, and it requires a lot of energy to try different things and develop your own style. Now, somehow, accidentally, even without wanting to… I have developed my own unique method.
I thought that I would simply be teaching people how to speak, but now I realise that this one skill has helped me to talk with some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. I have learned about life through learning a language, and through teaching a language too. It reminds me of what life is about… that beautiful moment when we pass on to others what we have learned. An exchange of ideas, like an exchange of gifts. Language is a way to discover and create something new. If it weren’t for such an exchange, I wouldn’t have been able to experience the mixture of ideas, of something Japanese and something British, this morning. A little pocket, in a quiet town in Japan, which is a living example of when two worlds once met.
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