This morning, I went to one of my favourite local cafes to get my last bit of writing in. You may remember how much I love finding magical little places like cafes to meet new people and be around great energy. Over here, it’s such a good memory for me, sitting on my favourite chair and sipping on my coffee while being absorbed in my work. I like this café not necessarily for the coffee or the food, but for the staff. After a little while of coming in every day, a few of them started to remember me and look after me. They know my usual spots, they know my coffee order and they always greet me with a smile. There is nothing more that you can ask for really, and when I leave Australia I know that I’ll miss my moments with these wonderful people. But it’s important to move on, to grow and to leave good, old memories behind. I’ve tried many times in the past to re-create the good old times, but they only leave you feeling a certain kind of sweet, melancholic emptiness which can drag you down after a while if you’re not careful. All things are better remembered as they were, to be in stories, in conversations or better yet, kept safely within your heart as a reminder that kindness between strangers truly does exist in today’s world.
Today was such a day that I will remember for a long time. I was surprised. One of the staff members who has lived a similar life of travel to myself, came up to me with a little gift and some beautiful words. Words that I did not expect, but that I want to share. She has been staying in Australia for a while, it’s been her base for a number of years, and she is finally in the process of getting her residency. Staying in one country is no easy task for people like us – we like to move around, and we do not like being pinned down. The process of waiting for approval of any form is also not easy – it weighs on your mind and your heart. It is a stress that only those who have decided to immigrate to another country could ever understand. I had always felt inspired by her, as I was in the process of making my own decision to move to France. Making the decision to apply for a visa feels like a commitment to more than you can promise, but I remember when she told me that sometimes you just need to go for it. She was part of the process for me in learning what it truly means to make a decision for yourself. Now that I have come out the other side of it, she told me that I have actually been inspiring for her. These words left me speechless. Sometimes I am so busy worrying about how I am not good enough for those closest to me, that I forget that there are others who see me in a completely different light. I’m grateful.
We can get so trapped in the bubble of our own life, so easily, without even realising it. Especially myself. My vision becomes so focused and narrow, which is useful in many ways, but I learn time and again that it is always useful to step outside and see the big picture sometimes. No not sometimes, often. We may focus our efforts on trying to make things happen in a certain way, but what life always reminds me is that: I need not try. It’s already happening, simply in the process of trying to live our best life. I don’t know how many more times life needs to remind me, before I accept this simple truth: people love and appreciate you for who you are, not for what you do. Having been someone who takes pride in serving others, I often tie my worth to what I can do for a person. What can I provide? How can I help them more? I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I often think… maybe if I can do more for a person, then they might like me or love me more. It’s a human tendency that everyone shares…
After all, the world is built on the premise of exchanging value. Effort for money. Attention for affection. Investment for return. If you claim to be unaffected by it, then you must be a rare individual indeed. Sometimes we treat others in this way, but most often we treat ourselves like this. Most people are giving, too giving, of their time, effort and affection… secretly or not so secretly hoping that we may receive something in return for it. Respect, peace, love, a spot in heaven, whatever it is that you seek in life. A lot of us like to believe, like I did, that the solution is to learn to give unconditionally. If we give without expectation, we cannot be disappointed. But this is besides the point of being a human being. We are here to experience love, disappointment, failure, success, fear, excitement… all in equal measure. You see, doing anything for something in return is natural and is also fruitless. And if we can learn to laugh at the fruitlessness of it, then we can learn to ride the waves of our emotions and experiences, good or bad. Like a surfer, sometimes we feel the support of the water and sometimes the water crashes on top of us. But we keep getting up, because success or failure, there is always someone who is looking on in admiration for who we are. We can’t help it, and we’d all be better off for recognising it. No matter what, you truly never know who you are inspiring right at this moment.
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